Just Vent | Just Venting

cause caps lock is cruise control for cool. You're almost there!

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WHAT I DONT GET ITTT. ARE YOU CALLIN ME UGLY WTF!!!!!!

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I love how you posted this in the politics section. Because, I genuinely think, your post has so much to do with politics, many of the other viewers on this site will not be able to appreciate the significance of why you would put your post in this category.

I love how you wrote in all-caps -- I think it really goes to show that what you're experiencing is not something that can be seen through logic or reason. It's something that can only be understand through the lens of emotion.

I love how you Don't Like It when your mom tries to extract Obedience from you through control and coercion. I can see that you're a freedom seeking being, you love to be free, and it's really important for you to be free. I can see that you are more than willing to cooperate with others, like your mom, and you believe that they shouldn't use coercion to force you into cooperation. It's like, when they use coercion, you feel like they don't trust that you are naturally good and wanting to be helpful. You're disappointed that she doubts you.

I love how when this guy told you that, he thought that you are ugly -- by the lens he uses to understand and describe beauty -- and that you have a big nose, I love how every part of your body, your mind, and your being went into a convulsion. Because, deep know, you SO STRONGLY DISAGREED. In that moment, you didn't feel bad because "you thought you were ugly, and in some way, you needed the approval of others to feel loved, appreciated, respected, valued, whole, and worthy". In that moment, you felt bad, because deep down, you KNOW -- it's a knowing that has been with you from before birth -- you KNOW that NO ONE ELSE has the power to decide how your life will unfold, and how good you are allowed to feel. You KNOW that Only YOU have the power to decide that. You know, deep down, that only YOU are the creator of YOUR life.

And that bad feeling -- that was the Greater Part of YOU saying, "Na Ah! Don't listen to this crap! He wouldn't SEE BEAUTY if it was right in front of his nose. He feels so bad right now, he feels so powerless, so desperate, so sick of being in His Own Body, that the only thought he could come up with in this moment, is a thought that really expresses how bad he feels. But what he said, it has nothing to do with me. He just Knew, I would be the only that could understand him."

And so, how do you respond to those kinds of people? You tell them -- or perhaps just in your mind, you send them a mental message -- "I'm really sorry that, in your feeling of despair, you can't see me the way that my lovers see me, that my appreciators see me, that my parents see me, that I see myself. I hope that one day, you too will get to experience the beauty that I feel when I'm alive. I know what it's like to have something outside of myself make me feel unworthy. But, what I've come to realize, is that idea is Always, Always, Always a LIE! IT'S A DIRTY LIE! Because I know who I am. I am beautiful, I am honest, I am a lover, I am playful, I am exciting, I love to live and feel alive. And although, sometimes, it seems otherwise. Every day, I'm just becoming more of who I am, because, every day, I'm allowing myself to be more of who I know myself to be. I think that's what life is really about -- finding love, where I thought there could only be pain. I have to keep expanding. I have to be me."

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I'm sure there's a reason she did it. So, maybe you should stop doing whatever it is bugging her. Just a a tip.

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