Most Laughed at Muttrs

I wish dogs walked on two legs. Like their front and back right paws.

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says Anonymous  on 10/24/09 @ 04:36:08pm in Miscellaneous
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I love my husband unconditionally. But, that doesn't mean I have to share this delicious tuna noodle casserole.

says Sydian  on 11/13/09 @ 03:38:26pm in Food
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I'm never having sex again. It is just to dangerous. I wish I was still a virgin.

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says Anonymous  on 04/21/10 @ 04:37:58pm in Intimacy
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I am woman. Hear me roar. Meow.

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says Anonymous  on 06/25/10 @ 12:44:51pm in Miscellaneous
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My manager is an idiot. he's one those stupid white people who have to announce his color blindness and sympathizes for blacks like they need it from this douche. he's fat, his wife owns him, and he b****es like a girl. man up howard.

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says Anonymous  on 11/03/10 @ 07:42:24pm in Work
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I need to go to the bathroom but the toilet is too far away!

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says Anonymous  on 11/22/10 @ 08:48:17pm in Entertainment
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Not much muttering in the SEX section. Looks like everybody is getting all they want.

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says Anonymous  on 12/07/10 @ 10:53:46am in Intimacy
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You seriously put "keep the band in your prayers" as your status because they can't get a flight to California? Like anyone would honestly waste their breath on something as ridiculous as that, get over yourself.

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says Anonymous  on 12/27/10 @ 10:03:54pm in People
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I need to take a dump.

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says Anonymous  on 01/19/11 @ 11:13:20pm in Health
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I will admit it, it was me who peed on the floor next to the urinal. Normally I never miss, but today I did. If it makes you feel better, I also hit my own shoe in the process.

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says Anonymous  on 02/17/11 @ 04:33:07pm in Health
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I wish they actually sold chill pills. Stressed out about something? Staying up at night worrying? Take a Chill Pill, sold at your local pharmacy.

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says Anonymous  on 03/04/11 @ 06:42:57am in Miscellaneous
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Couldn't do my business today, so I squatted over the toilet, with my feet on the seat. WOW, what have I been doing all the years? Sitting down is the wrong way to poo.

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says Anonymous  on 04/04/11 @ 06:19:53pm in Health
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People keep saying I look like Katy Perry..So does that mean I should start singing about kissing girls, fireworks, and being someones teenage dream in my skin tight jeans? tehehe, sounds like plan!!

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says Anonymous  on 04/14/11 @ 10:49:45pm in Miscellaneous
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Why does my parents keep coming into my room when I masturbate!?!? How many times do they have to do it before they learn to knock before entering!?!?!?

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says Anonymous  on 04/20/11 @ 02:15:35pm in Miscellaneous
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I think Drew Berrymore said it best as Erin in Going the Distance "Speaking of sweethearts, you can suck my dick! Damien:"She doesn't have a dick." Erin:"Actually I do, and you should put your mouth on my penis."...."Suck my dick b****! Seriously Suck it!!" yeah that is what I would like to say to you right now, oh one more thing SUCK MY DICK!!!

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says Anonymous  on 06/06/11 @ 03:06:05pm in Love
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