Just Vent | Just Venting

today i went to an amusement park with my best friend and a guy best friend that i have a crush on. today was the big day i was going to tell him by myself on a certain ride that i like him. it was going great. we all went on rides together. and it was great everything was going just how i planned then the ride. when we got there, another girl from what my school was there. someone we both knew. i knew she was coming that day, we all knew. but he promised me he wouldnt leave me and said i was of higher value to him. but when she came, he just talked to her, and acted as if we werent there. it was hurtful but i was like whatever. so we all got in,including her, and rode the ride, me not telling him. so, she left and it was just us 3 again. we kept walking EVERYWHERE we got so massivley tired. we went to go watch a performance show thing, and we were all sitting. he rested his head against my shoulder the whole time. it was great. i didnt want to move or anything. i didnt want anything to interupt. but it ended so we left and got on a soothing ride. and i rested my head against his shoulder this time, and he let me listen to one ear thingy from his ipod. that time was cool. by this time im sure he already knows bc my friend is dropping hints. so its the last ride, which is my favorite, and were waiting in line, and guess who we run into? yes, she was there. so since its only two he told me and my best friend to go on, and i know why, he wanted to go on with her. its dark and cold everyone is tired and cold and bones hurt. so he like, puts his hands in her jacket pocket and rests his head all up on her shoulder and im just like :/ okay. but then theyre listening to music and hand around shoulders waists "body heat" and everything. and not one word to me. he dissed me. like he promised he wouldnt. so me and my friend went on. when we came back i gave him a "u lied to me. for the forty millionth time." look and he had a "whats wrong" look back. i simply left the cart and walked away. feeling anger and wanting to hit something, but mostly, hurt. betrayed. lied. broken hearted. then they come off and its quiet were all walking silenty, except for them, talking, hugging the good stuff. and im simply walking. my best friend is telling me "he knows. hes doing this to hurt you." and im like "*shrugs* well" so its time for us to go and he says "ill stay here with her" and my heart drops so fast, its like an illigal rollar coaster ride. i simply say "oh. um. okay bye." and he waves. that killed me. today was suppost to be the day i finally told him. but now i know where i stand to her. at a lower level. she is a higher value to him than i am. and ive been told to forget about him and how rude he is, but i know he doesnt do it intentionally but what he doesnt know. hurts. so. much. how can you like someone so much, yet they have the slightest idea?